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Tale of the Keto Cookie

I hear you squawking! Everybody is wanting a Keto cookie! By looking at me you can tell I don' t know much about the latest diet bandwagon. Cookies generally have no place in a strict dietary regimen for people who feast on bird seed and tree bark. But, I am nothing if not accommodating. I took it as a personal challenge to see if Cookie Nip could tip the scale toward delicious in the absence of flour and sugar. The researcher in me was just curious enough to scour reviews of all the keto recipes I could find online. Most of them required ingredients I had never heard of and still don't think belong in cookies, but I digress.

The first thing that made me clutch my pearls is the cost of a primary ingredient. Luckily, I sent my husband to the grocery store for a couple of things and at the last minute, I added "almond flour." As could be expected, he facetimed me from the flour aisle to report that there was literally no flour to be had, and he turned the camera toward the empty shelves to substantiate his claim. A nice little fella in a green apron (who had obviously seen this type of disoriented husband on the baking aisle before), told him there was some way down on a bottom shelf. (That should have been the first clue that not many people demand this product). He called back to tell me it only comes in one pound packages so I immediately thought that was great since I don't know what I am going to do with the extra cup anyway. To me that spelled bargain. Well I was wrong. When I checked the receipt, I saw that he didn't blink an eyelash at paying $11.99 for ONE STINKING POUND of almond flour! My next thought is that nobody I know will be able to afford these cookies if they turn out in the first place.

I took a precious cup of that sandy "flour" and added it to the monk fruit sweetener. Surprised I had that on hand? Well I really don't. My twenty year old daughter subscribes to some philosophy that monk fruit is how a coffee connoisseur is supposed to sweeten some bitter concoction that she likes to drink on the regular. It is sitting in a canister right by my coffee pot clearly labeled, "This is Caroline's! Do NOT TOUCH it!," so of course, I opened it and got out three tablespoons. I subscribe to the notion that what is in my kitchen is actually property of the property, and as the property owner, I am welcome to it. She won't notice it because I suspect that there is not a single Gowan in this house threatening to eat that stuff. I put all the ingredients in the mixer including a whopping 3 tablespoons of butter. After thoroughly mixing the butter, almond flour, and monk fruit sweetener, and Cookie Nip, at least it smelled really good!

The mixture yielded a little ball of dough about the size of a tennis ball. No wonder people lose weight eating these things! The whole recipe typically yields less than a dozen cookies. Maybe that is the secret! At any rate, that was the cutest and best smelling little ball of dough I ever saw. I tried to roll it out and it tried to crumble. It held together enough to cut a dozen little cookies with my smallest biscuit cutter. The entire recipe fit on one stone with space leftover. They were adorable. I arranged them on the stone and baked them for ten minutes.

The Verdict? They look kind of okay. Golden around the edges, lighter in the middle. The remove easily from the baking stone. All that is left is the tasting. They are definitely edible, but they are a long way from approaching the neighborhood of delicious. Thank goodness for the Cookie Nip. Cookies are firm so I expected crunchy and they were definitely soft inside. Texture is odd. The only way I can think to describe it is grainy. It is not sweet but it is something to chew on. You poor, precious, Ketonites, if this is what you get to call a cookie, bless your heart. I will not be making these for anybody. Something that would cost as much as these would need to be more than merely edible.

You are welcome to replicate this scientific experiment with the following recipe

1 cup almond flour

1/4 cup monk fruit sweetener

3 tablespoons salted butter

1 tsp. Cookie Nip

Preheat oven to 350. Mix all ingredients with electric mixer until combined. At first it will be sandy, but it will eventually form a ball. Roll out and cut cookies. Arange on a stone and bake for 10-12 minutes. Allow stone to cool before removing cookies.

You could add almonds, shredded coconut, pecans or lemon zest to change up the flavor but they are still going to be what they are.


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